One my favorite characters to write about in New Halem Tales Secrets: 13 Stories from 5 NW Authors is the thrice-widowed, Grand Dame of New Halem and FishWrap Bugle society columnist, Glenda Cunningham. Her weekly column as Glenda Gadabout is often outrageous and funny but she brings a deeper sense of community to our coastal village.
Tendres baisers for Valentine’s Day
by Glenda Cunningham
for The FishWrap Bugle
Seeking hot and vivacious loves and kisses for Valentine’s Day, Good Reader, Miss Gadabout searched around town. Our first idea was to interview a couple of our newest residents. We thought New Halem newbees, with their out-of-town perspective, could offer fresh tips for holiday heat.
Emily flatly announced she didn’t do V.D. We thought how perfectly dreadful. Besides, she says she is too busy to even think about it with rehearsals starting next week for the spring musical production, The Pirates of Penzance. We see no luck directed toward this boudoir.
On the other hand, the strapping, muscular and ever-so-young Evan was quite excited. He crowed that he always got lucky on Valentine’s Day. We begged him to share his sultry secret but he feigned ignorance. Not to give up, we asked him to describe his idea of a perfect evening. With that, he opened like a can of tuna fish. For Evan, it starts with a candle light dinner his intended expertly prepares at her home. He would assist by selecting just the right wine from her wine rack. The meal would be followed with a walk on her deck for witty, lively conversation while he smoked. After she cleared the table, they would slow dance if she had the right music. Finally, they would bumble off to her boudoir to climax the night.
We inquired what he would bring to entice this woman. He answered, “Why me, of course. She would have my complete and devoted attention. She would have The Evan.”
This being a family paper, we cannot repeat what dear Emily had to say about "THE Evan". As much as we adore confident men, this youthful arrogance was not fresh at all, but smelled more of the said can.
Seeing no hot sparks here, we gave up on the newcomers and paid a visit to the most romantic couple we know in town, Drew Delacruz and Daniel Benson. We arrived at their beach bungalow, and found Daniel alone in the garden while Drew was creating gastronomical magic at the Sea and Sky Restaurant. We asked what he did to fan their holiday flame.
A gift of flowers was his toasty tip. He waved his warm, tanned arm across the landscape and pointed at his flower beds. He said that most of the year he can pick just the right blossoms from his own garden, but in February he gets help from Bayside Florists.
My quest was finally complete: flowers for him. That’s right, ladies, guys love receiving flowers, too. It turns the table, flips over expectations, putting you on top to ignite the white hot flame.
As for Miss Gadabout, our fantasy evening would include dinner at the Sea and Sky, of course, and intellectual conversation with a certain someone with a more mature confidence. Liquor is quicker, as they say, so the evening would be lubricated with a fruity, crisp and spicy Gewurztraminer.
To keep the embers warm all night, Dear Reader, Glenda has made an Aphrodisiac Oil that is DIY delicious. Start with two ounces of your tastiest oil, organic almond for us, and add essential oils: ten drops ylang ylang, two of cinnamon, five sweet orange and three of jasmine. This sexy elixir can be burned in small lamps, used with reeds to spread their incredibly edible scent or share it as a stimulating sensual massage oil that stirs the stars within and fuels the fireworks. Bonne chance!
Read more of Glenda's Gadabouts in New Halem Tales Secrets: Stories from 5 NW Authors. Check out the book at New Halem Tales Secrets website.
You Fuel my Fire. Photo by Kate Thompson ©2008
Charles teaches Health Science courses at a community college in Washington State. He entertains himself and his students with stories from his experience from two careers, healthcare and community newspapers. He is a contributing author in New Halem Tales Secrets, 13 Stories from 5 NW Authors, with the story of a newspaper publisher who chooses to keep secrets and the trouble that ensues and of course, Glenda Gadabout's Weekly Columns. More about Charles at 5NW Authors.